More surprising things
by scorsby
Summary: Sirius leaned back to watch the play of emotions on Remus's face. "Face it, Moony. You're attracted to me, big time. You lurrrrrve me!"


When Remus made the decision to return to the common room that night, it wasn't without serious thought and analysis of the situation. After all, what red blooded teenage werewolf would brave such a ordeal purely on a whim?

But he reckoned that at this point it would all have died down. Something more interesting would have distracted the vultures that made up the majority of 6th year girls and they would have moved on to tear apart another poor carcass of a situation. Surely that would be the case?

Well, whether or not it held any basis on truth, this was the assumption that convinced him to leave his hiding place which had been his home for the past fourteen hours and to make his cautious way back up the corridors and staircases to the Gryffindor tower.

After all, he hoped convincingly, it really wasn't such a big deal after all, as it? I mean, these were wizards, magical creatures, hiding their true identity from everyone around them. Surely they wouldn't be so… closed minded?

Remus paused outside the portrait hole and rocked back and forth on his heels. The fat lady eyed him suspiciously. "In or out."

It wasn't a question,, and Remus gulped, sighed, rolled back his shirt sleeves and clambered through the small space into the beasts chamber.

Silence. Silence and darkness, they were the first things that hit Remus. He paused, still on his hands and knees just inside the doorway. How late exactly was it? A glance at the empty, cold grate of the fire told him all he needed to know. This room hasn't been inhabited for several hours.

He wondered whether to risk _lumos_, some light sleepers on the first floor might be awakened by the glow as he wandered past. Deciding against it, he clambered to his feet and moved cautiously towards where the black was darkest- the foot of the staircase to the next floor.

The darkness appeared to envelop him as he moved, the air grew colder, clammy and he wrapped his arms around himself and struggled not to bash into any furniture and cause a riot. He strained his eyes to see where he was going, the room was unrecognisable in the blackest of dark nights. He wondered whether someone had cast some sort of charm- he hadn't seen a night like this ever before.

Reaching out a hand, Remus found the wall and carefully used it to guide himself along to where the staircase joined the room. To get there he had to walk past the empty fire grate, the only thing he could see in the blackness. It appeared to glow eerily and Remus shuddered, images of nightmares flashing across his eyes.

It didn't do to dwell, especially when in a dark cold empty room by yourself and too much a self inflicted hermit to even attempt to call for help if there was any trouble. So he tried to shake himself out of it. Remus had never been fond of the dark.

He was about halfway across the room when he stood on it. He screamed. He fell over sideways, struggling to pull out his wand. A shape moved next to him and screamed louder. He recognised the voice and stopped screaming long enough to pull out his want from underneath him and cast a _lumos_.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed, his relief momentarily clouding his humiliation. "what you doing here?!"

Sirius looked up from where he was curled in a ball on the floor, arms over his face, surprised.

"Moony! Its you!"

Remus chose to ignore the obvious and reached a hand to pull his friend into a standing position. Sirius accepted gratefully.

"Cheer-"

"What are you doing here, Sirius? Why are you up so late!" Remus hissed. Now it was obvious he wasn't in any danger, he was furiously angry at Sirius for ruining his plan to make as little noise as possible. Surely their screaming would have awakened the whole house?

Sirius looked downwards.

"I was waiting f'you.."

"_Why_?"

Sirius was looking alarmed now. Remus sighed and attempted a smile.

"Sorry." He said reluctantly. "I'm just a bit… tired."

Sirius smiled warily.

"I was worried where you had got to. I thought maybe you'd done something terrible like thrown yourself in the lake or gone to the kitchens without me…"

Remus smiled slightly.

"never."

He yawned, suddenly very tired, and sat back on the sofa that, in the new light, he could see a few feet away. He inclined his head, encouraging Sirius to join him.

"You ought to get to bed."

Sirius snorted lightly and moved to curl up on the sofa next to Remus. His knee brushed against Remus's lightly and settled, making Remus's breath catch in his throat. Surely Sirius had noticed..?

"You ought to get to bed too… but when has that ever stopped us before?"

Remus said nothing, he had a point.

"'Sides, " Sirius continued, yawning and folding his arms. "I was under the impression you were trying to avoid people?"

Remus froze. Sirius's sleepy sharp gaze penetrated his mind, forcing him to look away. Sirius knew? Sirius, who never followed the rumours, Sirius who was the subject of most rumours unknowingly, Sirius who scoffed at those who sat huddled in corners gossiping, Sirius _knew_?

"ah…"

Sirius sighed impatiently. "Well? Do you want to avoid people? Or were you skulking round by the honeydukes tunnel for god knows how long just for larks."

Remus avoided his gaze.

"Um."

Sirius sat up, cross legged and turned to face Remus.

"You know… I never before reckoned you for a coward."

Remus snapped his head up in surprise but Sirius had turned away.

"Wh… what?"

"You heard."

Remus stared at Sirius. So he wasn't… shocked or appalled, he was… disappointed?

"S-Sirius?"

"What, Moony."

Remus blinked at the harsh tone in Sirius's voice. He didn't understand why he was so angry.

"Sirius, I'm… I'm sorry. I mean, I'm sorry you're disappointed or whatever. But like… you don't understand how hard it is."

The glare that hit Remus then, left him breathless.

"I don't understand how hard it is? Give me a rest." Sirius turned away. "I've faced bigger things than this, Remus."

"Oh yeah?" Remus was annoyed. How dare Sirius act so superior. He had no idea what it had been like. All the pointing, the whispers, the laughing…. No Idea! "Tell me, Sirius, what Exactly have you had to face, hmmm? Because nothing springs to mind."

Sirius stood up, glaring hard.

"Nothing springs to mind? Well there's a surprise. Because thinking about others isn't exactly your forte is it Remus?"

Remus clenched his fists. He was feeling unusually angry. Was it that time of the month again?

"Coming from you! You are the most insensitive, arrogant snob I have ever met!"

Sirius flushed red with anger and turned away.

"You know Remus, I thought we could talk this through, I thought I could be there for you and we could each … you know, get through this. But forget it. You just want to wallow in your own self pity Remus and think that no-one else knows what its like, no-one else has been there. So you go right on ahead- because I haven't got the patience to deal with it anymore."

Remus blinked. He hadn't seen that one coming. And what was Sirius talking about? Knowing what it was like… how could Sirius possibly know what it was like? Unless… but he quashed that thought before he could think it. Impossible.

"Whatever Sirius.."

Remus turned away and sat down again. He had planned to make his way back to the staircase but he wasn't sure if his legs could carry him.

Sirius stood watching him for a few moments before sitting down also.

He watched Remus fold himself in a ball and sighed.

"Moony, I'm… I'm sorry…"

Nothing.

"I can see how this is hard for you, honest I can. But really…" No response still. "Moony you mustn't isolate us, your friends. We don't judge you and we will stand by you and protect you. But you need to let us in…"

Remus lifted his head.

"Sirius… I'm sorry…"

Sirius smiled. "No worries Moony. I'm sorry too… you're really not self-centred, you do think about others. In fact… you're probably the most caring person I know."

Remus chucked and ruffled Sirius's hair. Sirius leaned in to the touch sleepily.

"And you aren't an arrogant snob…"

"Liar."

They both chucked.

Remus checked his watch absentmindedly.

"Oh jeez…" He groaned, "Its nearly five thirty."

"No chance of sleep now then."

"No…"

Remus suddenly became very aware that Sirius's head had somehow ended up on his shoulder. He wondered whether it would be horribly impolite to move it, before deciding against it. He rather liked the soft feel of the dark hair tickling his neck..

Remus cleared his throat awkwardly. He felt Sirius chuckle lightly against his shoulder.

"What?"

"You. How very uncomfortable you are. You know, " Sirius lifted his head at this and looked straight into Remus's eyes. "For a bleeding poof you are surprisingly hesitant about male contact."

Remus blinked once. It was the first time either of them had said it out loud. He wondered whether to be terribly offended.

Sirius registered the surprise in Remus's eyes and laughed.

"Oh come on, no point trying to force yourself to be offended."

Remus chuckled lightly and shoved Sirius away from him. Sirius frowned.

"Oi! No need for that." He crawled back over and leaned against Remus, sleepily.

Remus smiled down at the dark haired boy. He leaned slightly and inhaled the soft grassy scent of his hair.

"Mmmm."

"What?"

Sirius lifted his head and Remus flushed with embarrassment.

"nothing, sorry, just clearing my throat."

Sirius snorted and looked at Remus, speculating.

"You were smelling my hair, weren't you."

Remus opened his mouth indignantly.

"I most certainly was not!"

"You were." Sirius grinned and poked Remus in the side. "Don't lie."

Remus spluttered a retort. Shoot, he shouldn't have let down his guard like that.

"Hey Remus?" Sirius asked, winningly.

Remus sighed, dreading the question.

"What is it?"

"D'you…" Sirius grinned. "Do you _fancy_ me?"

Remus blushed again.

"Can we not talk about this? it's a sensitive issue."

"Nah." Sirius leaned back to watch the play of emotions on Remus's face. "Face it, Moony. You're attracted to me, big time. You lurrrrrve me!"

Remus scowled and pushed Sirius away again. This time he fell right off the sofa onto the floor, nearly rolling into the fire grate. Sirius seemed unperturbed, merely bouncing back onto his spot on the sofa.

"Admit it!"

Remus sighed.

"Fine," he said reluctantly. "I admit I am, somewhat… attracted to you… what?"

Remus looked away blushing awkwardly again. Why was Sirius looking so shocked? Surely he had been expecting it?

"What..? Stop… stop looking at me like that.."

"Sorry."

There was silence for a few moments, Remus looking at his feet, fully aware that Sirius was staring at him.

"hey Remus?" Sirius said conversationally. "Can I try something?"

"What."

Remus was immediately on his guard.

"Just… trust me."

Remus sighed.

"Okay."

Sirius looked at him for a second, then moved towards him so suddenly Remus didn't have time to react. Soft full lips caught his and tugged them lightly. A smooth palm cupped his face. Lithe fingers ran through his hair.

Remus shut his eyes, giving himself over to sensation. It felt… incredible.

And then he remembered who he was, where he was and who was kissing him.

"Padfoot!" He exclaimed, pushing Sirius away for the third time that night. "Padfoot stop it!"

Sirius looked at Remus in surprise.

"Sorry moony." he muttered. "I just wanted to give you what you wanted. I thought…"

"You thought what, Sirius?" Remus bit back the tears that were threatening to escape. It was so unfair! "You thought you'd use me to experiment your little divergence into homosexuality? This is me, Sirius, you can just fuck me around like that. This is my life!"

"that's not… that's not what I was doing.."

Sirius looked like he was about to cry. Remus sighed.

"Whatever Sirius, I'm too tired to argue with you again. Just… don't do it again."

Sirius blinked miserably.

"Didn't you… didn't you like it?"

Remus groaned.

"Sirius, sod off. I'm sick of these games. I don't care what you're trying to do…"

"I did."

"Huh?"

"I liked it."

Remus looked at Sirius sharply. He looked so small and insecure, sitting there scrunched into the farthest corner of the sofa. What sort of game was he playing?

"S- Sirius?"

"Moony I don't know what to do!" Sirius suddenly wailed, bursting into noisy tears.

Remus immediately forgot his qualms and leant over and put his arms round Sirius,

"Shhhh Padfoot," he glanced anxiously at the foot of the stairs, hoping the little raucous hasn't woken anyone. "Shhhh Padfoot, explain to me, talk to me.. What's wrong?"

"I just don't understand!" Sirius wept hysterically. "I really really like someone and I thought they liked me but it turns out its all just a mistake and I don't know what to do!"

Remus stroked Sirius's hair and tried not to object when Sirius wound his arms round his waist.

"Shh Sirius, calm now." he wiped away Sirius's tears with his thumb. "Now, I'm sure that's not true. After all.. When has anyone ever been able to resist your charms, hmm?"

Sirius sniffed.

"Now come, tell me the name of the lucky lady and I'll go and talk to her, sort out this whole mess, yeah?"

This only made Sirius howl louder. Glancing anxiously around for something that would pacify his hysterical friend, Remus thought desperately of how to cheer him up.

"Sirius, things are never so bad as they first seem. Remember that, yeah? Its what you tell me…"

"this IS as bad as it seems,!" Sirius declared. "No wait, its worse!"

"How could it possibly be worse!" Remus exclaimed. "think of my situation. I'm a lonely teenage homosexual wizard werewolf who's in love with his best friend who is currently leaning on his shoulder bawling about how he wants to get off with some girl. Please explain how your situation could possibly be worse than mine."

Sirius stopped crying abruptly. He lifted his head and stared at Remus with red-rimmed eyes.

"Wha… what did you say?"

"You heard." If Sirius couldn't take it how it was, Remus wasn't going to pity him.

"No, what did you say about… best friend…"

"Sirius…"

"Really." Sirius looked Remus in the face, his eyes hopeful and glowing, shining beneath the tears. "You said you… you…"

"I said I love you, yes." Remus was tired now. "it's the truth Sirius."

"Then why…" Sirius looked away, flushing slightly, "Why wouldn't you let me kiss you?"

Remus looked at him. Really looked. Was that, was that…hurt he could see on Sirius's face? Not the embarrassment of the situation but hurt from the rejection? Was that possible?

"B- because I knew you didn't mean it… and when I kiss someone… I want it to mean something."

Sirius glared at him pitifully.

"Didn't mean anything?" He looked away once more. "Well, it meant something to me."

Remus opened his mouth to retort before closing it again. Sirius… what had he just said?

"Sirius…"

"Just forget it." Sirius said bitterly. "I know you can never see me as anything but a raging lothario with more notches on his bedpost than cells in his brain."

"that's… that's not true, and you know it."

Sirius turned to Remus and gripped him by the shoulders fiercely.

"I love you, Remus, I really honest to god do. But I know you're never going to believe me so just forget it, yeah? I'm going to go to bed now.. Catch up on my sleep." He stood up abruptly and turned away. "Tell sprout I'm ill, will you? If you remember…"

He was halfway to the staircase before Remus got his brain back.

"Sirius, Sirius wait!" he ran after him, grabbing his hand. "Sirius, you, what you… you.. You mean it?"

"of course I mean it." Sirius said bitingly. "But you don't believe me so that's fine, whatever. I'll just let you go on feeling like you're the only one who knows what its like."

And suddenly everything Sirius had been talking about that night clicked into place.

Remus smiled softly.

"You… you love me."

Sirius looked at him strangely and pulled his arm out of his grip.

"You need rest, Remus. Go to bed."

Remus ignored him. Reaching up he wrapped one arm round Sirius's neck. He slotted his other hand into his thick dark hair. Feeling him tense, he pressed his body against Sirius's, fitting perfectly against the shorted frame. He leaned in towards the other boy and breathed in the soft scent. He shut his eyes, noticing Sirius mirroring his actions. He leaned forward and gently, very gently pressed his lips against his.

The reaction was unexpected, but not unwelcome. Sirius pressed his face tightly into Remus's, his hand pressing against his back, his shoulders, his face, roaming over him desperately, his breathing caught in his chest as they stumbled back, collapsing over the sofa in front of the fire. He gasped at the emotion of it, the raw heat that came from their embrace. Eyes shut tight to hide him from the reality, Remus lost himself in the moment.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

When James came down for early quid ditch practice an hour later, he almost didn't see the two sleeping figures in front of the fire. When he did, he paused for a moment, before dashing back upstairs. He brought down his invisibility cloak which he threw over them, unable to bear waking them, sleeping so peacefully. Content that they were hidden completely from public view, he continued out of the common room.

I mean, honestly. He saw more surprising things in a history of magic lesson,


End file.
